I would have never thought on that beautiful, crisp September morning a decade ago that our world was about to change. One of the things that sticks most for me was the most perfect shade of blue of the cloudless sky. I remember looking up as I crossed pedestrian bridge over Columbus Boulevard before walking into my office building for a pre-work workout. I think I slowed down because it was so beautiful. The color was so striking and I remember thinking to myself that it was the perfect day. One that should have been spent outside enjoying the early Autumn weather and not behind my desk as an environmental paralegal. The sky was much like the one today...
The sun (coming up this morning at YUL when Arabella and I dropped Jay off at the airport) reminded me of the sun on September 11, 2001.
I kept walking like any other work day and I had my workout. And as I was getting ready to leave the locker room to head to my office on the 18th floor of the Hartford Steam Boiler Building the music that was playing was interrupted by the announcement that a plane had hit the World Trade Center. I remember thinking that it had to be a small plane and I remember calling my brother and leaving him a message. I then left and headed to the elevator...there was a slight buzz in the air with the news that was just heard. But as the elevator arrived and I boarded it, I had this odd feeling that things were not going to be OK and I was nervous about stepping off it. I don't know why, probably nervous energy, but when the doors opened, my usually very busy law firm was eerily quiet. I remember going to my desk and people looked somber. And this was only mere minutes after the first plane had crashed into the tower. My coworkers that were in the office, we all going towards the kitchen to see what was unfolding on the TV. I made my way to the kitchen and couldn't believe what I was seeing. I remember my eyes filling up with tears and then there was this sense of fear that came over me. I remember being scared and I am not sure what of. It was so hard to work with all that was going on. We were allowed to leave work early and for that I was grateful. I needed to be where I felt safe. I wanted to see my family and to know that we were all OK. Living in Connecticut, it was hard not to be affected by what was going on just 2 hours south of us. I remember bring glued to the TV when I arrived home, it was like a bad movie and I had to watch it. I couldn't turn it off. I remember being so worn out from the emotions and what I was seeing, but I couldn't sleep. It was horrible and I cannot imagine what the families of the victims were going through.
While I was just 2 hours away from the tragic events of this day, Jay was on another continent. He was in Milan, Italy for CAT and he remembers seeing people standing around the windows of the CNN or another television building (he can't remember exactly which news outlet it was). Being curious of what was happening, he saw the events unfolding on the TV's in the windows. What is striking to me, is that even across the ocean, the sky was the same shade of perfect blue. These are pictures that Jay took when he was in Milan on that fateful day...notice the date stamp...
I feel worn out today. I cried this morning when I turned on the TV and saw the memorials taking place. I couldn't stop the tears from rolling and Arabella couldn't understand why I was crying. She didn't want me to be sad and she put her arms around me and started to cry a little too. She asked me why I was said. I told her that today was a special day and that mommy was upset. As any 3 year old does, she asked why again. And I didn't know what to say, I couldn't stop crying and I was frozen in front of the TV. When she asked a 3rd time why I was crying, I told her that some bad men took over an airplane and hurt a lot of people with it. I didn't know what else to say to her but I had to tell her in words that she would be able to understand. I know that she will learn about this day as she grows older.
My heart is heavy and hurts when I think about the victims and their families of this tragedy. My heart also breaks for all our troops who have made enormous sacrifices and lost their lives over the last 10 years while fighting the war on terror.
So much has changed over the past decade and our lives since that day will never be the same. I will never forget September 11, 2001 for as long as I shall live.
